Thursday, May 7, 2015

Mom Fears

I am scarily obsessed with my kids coming down with lice.  I know, I know, it's not considered a "dirty" disease and that anyone can get it no matter who they are or how they live.

I understand.

But diarrhea can happen to anyone too and I don't think anyone would call that a fun time.

So when I say obsessed, I mean that I religiously check their hair every night after showers, I mean that if they casually mention someone in their class was sent home with lice that I attack them like a shark on a wounded baby seal, I mean that if I see them scratching anywhere within a twelve inch distance from their head I screech like a pterodactyl and make them come into the bathroom to check them over.

When Bug came home complaining another girl in her class accidentally took her hooded coat home over the weekend I was almost in tears thinking of my daughter getting it back on Monday and putting it on with no second thought whatsoever.

When Goose's best friend and classmate was found to have it I told her that if she even THOUGHT about getting near that kid for the next two weeks that I was just going to shave her head and get it over with.

I've threatened a complete stuffed animal genocide, I've held a razor up and told them exactly how this was going to go down, I've even banned certain kids from my house because they are chronically coming down with it.

Lice is one my biggest fears and I'm not ashamed to say I would fall into a deep, dark depression if it ever entered my home.

And now my head itches.

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